Monday
OCTOBER 24, 2029
WALL STREET: HO's UP, G's DOWN (Nite Ridder)
(New Magnoilia, LA) Markets slipped into chaos today as Ho's surpassed G's in market trading. "I haven't seen anything like it." said Andre Carnegie, an investment banker in Louisiana. "This shit is off the chain, bitches totally out of check." The shock wave reverberated throughout Wall Street, causing a selling frenzy which led to a two day plummet in G's stock. "The Ho has always been a powerful economic force, but never would have we expected anything as fortuitous as this." said a giddy Bao Cu'ong, vice treasury minister of newly united trading powerhouse Cambodnam. Standard and Poor's Street Cred index fluctuated rapidly as indications of the upset began to trickle out. Ho Charlaine Stewart said of the reversal "Sheeit, this changes everything, finally our long term investments and shrewd use of hedge funds have panned out into a sound plan that anyone would be proud to have in their portfolio. Payback is a motherfucker." The G's are said to be regrouping and possibly planning drastic budget cutbacks and possibly layoffs in a desperate attempt to regain investor confidence.
(New Magnoilia, LA) Markets slipped into chaos today as Ho's surpassed G's in market trading. "I haven't seen anything like it." said Andre Carnegie, an investment banker in Louisiana. "This shit is off the chain, bitches totally out of check." The shock wave reverberated throughout Wall Street, causing a selling frenzy which led to a two day plummet in G's stock. "The Ho has always been a powerful economic force, but never would have we expected anything as fortuitous as this." said a giddy Bao Cu'ong, vice treasury minister of newly united trading powerhouse Cambodnam. Standard and Poor's Street Cred index fluctuated rapidly as indications of the upset began to trickle out. Ho Charlaine Stewart said of the reversal "Sheeit, this changes everything, finally our long term investments and shrewd use of hedge funds have panned out into a sound plan that anyone would be proud to have in their portfolio. Payback is a motherfucker." The G's are said to be regrouping and possibly planning drastic budget cutbacks and possibly layoffs in a desperate attempt to regain investor confidence.
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In a related story, the rise in the value of Ho's was preceded by a spike in the Bro's market on Tuesday. Keeping an eye on the Bro's index has proven to be a surprisingly accurate economic indicator across world markets. Much like the price of oil or the "Big Mac" index, "Bro's before Ho's" has become the mantra of any successful trader looking to corner the Ho market.
Perfect Un-Yun Style. Woo wee 'dems good! (Justin Wilson) I thought I could display an image for even more hilarity here but no.
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